Time softens memories. Last time we were in India in 2009 we were terrified by the car journeys we made. All trips whether 100 kilometres or 250 k all seemed to take 4 hours and we would get out of the car totally wrecked. Somehow we seemed to have blurred all that out and remembered the colours, the scents, the amount of laughing we did and the wonderful people.
Yesterday we had to make the journey from Bangalore to Mysore a trip of 4 hours, 2 of which were in the dark. I was like Pi , I prayed to every God, Profit, Buddha , Mother Teresa whoever I could think of.
I swear I clenched my buttocks so hard so many times I pulled my hamstrings. Is that possible? I don't know but that's what it felt like.
The traffic is a constant river of vehicles surging forward, playing a game of dare with each other. I have no idea what the annual number of road deaths are in india but it must be high. They have introduced something new since were last here, Sleeping Policeman. The traffic department have invested heavily in this idea. They are every two hundred yards in town and every few miles on the main Bangalore Mysore highway. Like every thing in India they are extreme. There come in two designs. The pointed bastards and the five in a row shallow, narrow and deadly. Occasionally they put cats eyes along them to warn of their arrival but mostly they don't . Hence a lot of last minute braking or bumping so hard that your back ends up ruined.
There appear to be a few basic rules to driving here.
Never overtake on a straight road if you can do it on a corner , or even better on the brow of a hill.
Live on the edge of danger!
If the road is duel carriage way and there is a car the righthand lane and a car in the left hand lane and they are going too slowly,hoot the horn continuously and drive through the middle.
You know it makes sense.
Then of course, there are junctions. Whatever you do , do not stop to check if anyone is coming. Just drive on with a total conviction that the others will pass you by. Drive close up and personal, scrape past as near as you possibly can, be it cars, bikes, cows, pedestrians , somehow everyone looks out for their own space.
Never ever shout or loose your temper just give " The Look". It is just the best thing, we should all learn this technique . The eyes are as cold as ice and cut deep into the sole of the offender, "the look" puts a curse on your mother your children and your children's children. But then it all moves on and the surge forward starts again. No one comes to blows and that is the nearest to road rage it gets.
I cannot leave out headlights . They are used like the horn. Keep them full beam , flash the driver in front, a lot and constantly, in an effort to make him move, this is however a lost cause , possession is 100 % of the law.
I am working on a theory that if we let cows loose on the roads in central London it might cure some traffic problems. Shall i wing it past Boris?The cows too can do a "Look" but it says "Hey , I'm Sacred , watch my butt. " and don't move an inch.
;-)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Yesterday we had to make the journey from Bangalore to Mysore a trip of 4 hours, 2 of which were in the dark. I was like Pi , I prayed to every God, Profit, Buddha , Mother Teresa whoever I could think of.
I swear I clenched my buttocks so hard so many times I pulled my hamstrings. Is that possible? I don't know but that's what it felt like.
The traffic is a constant river of vehicles surging forward, playing a game of dare with each other. I have no idea what the annual number of road deaths are in india but it must be high. They have introduced something new since were last here, Sleeping Policeman. The traffic department have invested heavily in this idea. They are every two hundred yards in town and every few miles on the main Bangalore Mysore highway. Like every thing in India they are extreme. There come in two designs. The pointed bastards and the five in a row shallow, narrow and deadly. Occasionally they put cats eyes along them to warn of their arrival but mostly they don't . Hence a lot of last minute braking or bumping so hard that your back ends up ruined.
There appear to be a few basic rules to driving here.
Never overtake on a straight road if you can do it on a corner , or even better on the brow of a hill.
Live on the edge of danger!
If the road is duel carriage way and there is a car the righthand lane and a car in the left hand lane and they are going too slowly,hoot the horn continuously and drive through the middle.
You know it makes sense.
Then of course, there are junctions. Whatever you do , do not stop to check if anyone is coming. Just drive on with a total conviction that the others will pass you by. Drive close up and personal, scrape past as near as you possibly can, be it cars, bikes, cows, pedestrians , somehow everyone looks out for their own space.
Never ever shout or loose your temper just give " The Look". It is just the best thing, we should all learn this technique . The eyes are as cold as ice and cut deep into the sole of the offender, "the look" puts a curse on your mother your children and your children's children. But then it all moves on and the surge forward starts again. No one comes to blows and that is the nearest to road rage it gets.
I cannot leave out headlights . They are used like the horn. Keep them full beam , flash the driver in front, a lot and constantly, in an effort to make him move, this is however a lost cause , possession is 100 % of the law.
I am working on a theory that if we let cows loose on the roads in central London it might cure some traffic problems. Shall i wing it past Boris?The cows too can do a "Look" but it says "Hey , I'm Sacred , watch my butt. " and don't move an inch.
;-)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
2 comments:
Well Jo what an adventure, it must be amazing and so, so different. KEEP THE BLOGS UP really enjoying them. Love to you all. Liz
Jo, it sounds a great trip. I can picture the traffic, it makes your hair stand on end!!
I am really enjoying your blog so keep up the supply>
love
Vicky xx
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